class rules

my wound stings in the breeze-
i frown at how it smiles gleefully
how it drools with anticipation
they glance backwards, talk in hushed tones
they won’t tell me what is to happen

my eyes burn forward, skin prickling at 
heads turning, playful nudging, carefree laughing
my father told me never to want; 
i forgot what he said about need

no one is looking
i repeat
no one is looking at me

but who really expects damned expectations?
ooze drips out of my heart and into my veins,
wetting my lungs and clogging my throat
it bleeds along my arms,
pricks at my pores, soaks my hair, coats my cheeks.

i’m imprisoned to my chair
squirming and shifting as hesitant hands clean up my messes,
never enough to be heaven
but enough to be dead

why couldn’t i move?
everyone is looking
i spit out
everyone is looking at me